In Loving Memeory of Leo Floridas

The App from Natasha came in the middle of doing Yoga, 3 weeks ago now, on a Sunday, in a moment when I was doing the traditional Hatha Yoga Sun Salutation Leo taught me. I seldom do this particular salutation, it wasn’t strange to look at the phone and to get the message: “Hey Gabs, Leo said that time is near. Soon he will be leaving the body”. I called Natasha back, she gave the phone to Leo, whose voice was weak. He said “the body is tired”. I said: “I will come”. He said: “That would be nice”. The next morning, I was on a flight to Curaçao. I canceled my classes I spend exactly 24 hours on my island. A few days before I was posting pictures of that Curaçao sea. Not knowing I would go, or did I?

I walk out of the airport at 3pm. I rent a car. I app Natasha. She apps back to come straight there so I do. It’s 91 degrees. I changed to my summer dress in the airport. I app my aunt Ligia with whom I’m staying that night, that I will see her later.

I know the roads with eyes closed. The warm wind is making me sweat, but I turn of the air-conditioning in the rental car, take off my sun glasses and let the sun and wind welcome me home. Curaçao always and after all those years away, still is home.

His body is frail, or really, he’s just a skeleton at this point, and his face looks different. Death is already in the room when I walk in. I didn’t think I would recognize it. But I did. He looks up, happy when he sees me walk in. I kiss his forehead, my teacher. He thanks me for coming. And I stay with him for 4 hours that day. Every time he closes his eyes, I think he will die, but his mind is still so sharp. I watch his breathing. I’m calm, he’s too and ready and calling us all to say goodbye.

Out of nowhere he tells me a few things randomly in between drifting off.

“You know you have everything to succeed” he says, and he smiles.

“Oh” I say, not sure if I should ask more.

That evening I massage him. His neck, his face, we talk pressure points before massaging his hands and then his feet. When I lift up the sheet of his feet for the first time, I see how turned out he is. His niece Chandrika Floridas walks in, we laugh at his turn out, and I tell him that he would have made a good ballet dancer. His feet have nice arches, I had never noticed before, but really when do you ever massage your teacher’s feet? He thinks it’s funny. We all do. He loves the massage.

Through-out the hours, I help him move his body, when Natasha his rock, continues the yoga classes in the room next door. He’s too frail to do much himself. I help his bed up and down. “Leo”, I say: “ I’m reading Autobiography of a Yogi again. Thought it would be a good thing to read on the plane on my way to you”. He knows he gave me this book when I left the island for the first time at age 17. Leo looks at me and says: “you don’t need that anymore, or any book. You know it all. Really.” Then his eyes close again. I want to ask more, but just take it in. I just sit and watch him breath the man that made me sit for hours after my yoga class and do my Pranayamas, or meditate. I would sit in lotus and my legs would fall asleep and the mosquitos would have a field day, but I sat still, observing the body. I share this memory with Leo when he opens his eyes again and he smiles: “yes Yoga is serious work, you need to train the mind not just the body”. In the hours that follow, I make myself some dinner, drink water and eat and drink next to his bedside. Observing him, my teacher. I even take a picture of his hands, and feel guilty doing it, but they look so beautiful. Above his head hangs a picture of his Guruji.

Natasha comes in ever so often and kisses his forehead, asks if he needs something. She’s all love. Walks back to her yoga class. When back again, she tells me I should go, he’s tired, I am tired and he needs to rest. She tells me to come back tomorrow before going to the airport

In my aunt Tante Ligia’s house, whose also my Madrina (godmother) I chat a bit with my Tio Ishmael, her Dominican husband, before I go to bed.

The next morning Natasha apps me to tell me to come at 1pm. Although I want to spend all day with Leo before catching my flight back I’m grateful for a morning off to drink coffee with my Aunt on the porch and then head to the beach. At last my sanity! My island of birth always is so healing. I swim a lot and do yoga on the raft in the middle of the water. Hester Jonkhout, with whom I made the documentary about Leo, joins. Time goes too fast. I shower, grab my bag, say my goodbyes to Tante Ligia and Tio Ishmael and head to Leo.

Leo smiles when he sees me.

Leo: “All this Yoga Philosophy I learned, it helps with living, but dying? I am curious to find out.

Me: “Too bad you can’t report back and tell us”. He smiles.

Leo mumbles and his eyes open and he smiles when he sees me looking at him:

Leo: “Dushi ku bo tei” (So nice you’re here)

His eyes close again. After a while: Leo: “The body is tired”

Me: “You gave so much Leo, danki” His eyes close again.

Leo: “Oh yes life is just beautiful. I had a fantastic life.”

More silence as today he looks weaker. His eyes open as he hears Natasha. She’s walking around singing. He says ”bo sa, Natasha ta kanta hopi bunita mes”. I nod. The things I learn every day. I play him Mercedes Sosa’s song” Gracias A La vida” it came to me when I stepped in to the car on my way to him. He listens intently.

I feel so grateful to have known this man. My heart is full.

Natasha, mother protector, comes in and tells me I should not be late for my flight. She thanks me for coming. I take it is time to leave. It’s hard to go now. I had really wanted to be there when he transitioned. I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to leave Curaçao either. I always find it hard to leave. Somehow, my island.

But I know it’s okay. I’m humbled he asks me to come and my heart is full with love.

I hold his hand and kiss him on his forehead.

Me: “Danki Leo par tur kos, I love you”. He smiles:“ I love you” he says when I walk out.

“I love you Leo” I say from the doorway and keep it moving as the tears are fighting hard not to come out. Natasha guides me by the hand to the front door. “It’s okay Gabs”, she says. She’s the only one who calls me that. I nod, I feel more gratitude then sadness, although it’s hard to know that this is the last time I will physically see him.

I drive with windows open and sweating to the airport, taking in the beautiful colors and the sea everywhere. Exactly 24 hours I step back in to the Curaçao airport.

Goodbye Leo Floridas, my teacher, my role-model, my mentor, and if he wanted to be my Guru, but he never wanted to be a Guru. He was just Leo for all of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Leo. I love you.

Leo Floridas is the subject of Gabri Christa’s 2016 film, Un Dia Kada Momentu (One Day At A Time).